Rebel Wired: Country Clubs and fancy cars

Over the weekend, I was having brunch with some of my family at a country club. For the record, I don't belong to a country club. I can see the appeal to it. Everyone knows your name, you're seated right away, and the service is quick. (You can also get the same kind of quick service at your local Mexican restaurant). But while there, I was observing the people. Eavesdropping a little. Conversations were light, surface level, and stuffy. Which forced me to ask the question.... Why?  Why did people join this club? Was it for the reasons I mentioned above? Or was it for the social acceptance? Is it filling a void of insecurity and self-fulfillment?

I see this too often, and once you're in tune with it, you can see it in someone immediately. I had a business partner once, who wouldn't say it of course, but he needed to feel important, respected. But he couldn't earn it, so he had to fake it. Almost like the old "fake it till you make it" mantra, which is complete bullshit if you ask me. He would buy fake high-end watches from China. In fact, I got sucked into buying one once. Thankfully, that was a short stint. I was young and trapped in what I see people trapped in still.  They need acceptance, respect. And if they can't earn it, they will try and find a group of people to fill with BS that will give them the attention they crave to feel worth. It's a dangerous, surface level place to be.

In the whirlwind of country clubs, nice cars, and a lifestyle of luxury, it's easy to get lost in the shimmer. I, too, once believed that these symbols of affluence like fancy watches (even if fake) were the milestones of success. But as I journeyed through life's ups and downs, I uncovered a deeper truth: these are but fleeting reflections on the surface of a much more profound pool of personal growth and fulfillment.

Let's take a step back and imagine the setting sun casting its rays over a pristine country club golf course. The air is filled with the sound of laughter, the clinking of glasses, and the soft whispers of promises of a lifestyle many yearn for. Nearby, a lineup of cars that resemble a curator's selection from a luxury automobile exhibit. It's a scene straight out of a glossy magazine, isn't it? For a moment, it captivates us, drawing us into a world where everything seems perfect.

But here's the twist in the narrative—this perfection is an illusion. It took me a while, but I realized that true happiness and success are not measured by the external validation these luxuries bring. Instead, it's the internal journey, the battles fought in silence, the resilience in the face of adversity, and the personal victories that no one else sees that truly define us.

The chase for external validation is a mirage in the desert of our existence. We thirst for it, believing it will quench our deep-seated desires for acceptance and recognition. But just like a mirage, it disappears upon closer inspection, leaving us feeling emptier than before. The moment we stop trying to impress others and start living for ourselves is the moment we begin to truly thrive.

It's not about rejecting material success or the comforts it can bring. Rather, it's about understanding that these should not be the sole indicators of our worth or progress. Our journey is uniquely ours, filled with unseen struggles and personal triumphs that no luxury car or exclusive membership (or fancy fake watch) can ever encapsulate.

I learned to quit giving a shit about what others thought of my path. It was liberating. The pressure to conform, to fit into a mold that society deemed successful, slowly lifted, and in its place, a sense of genuine self-fulfillment blossomed. This isn't to say that the journey was easy, or I don't still struggle from time to time. I most definitely do.. But this required a conscious effort to shift my mindset, to value my personal growth over societal expectations, and to find joy in the simple, unmaterialistic aspects of life.

The essence of our being is not reflected in the shine of a new car or the "prestige" of a country club membership. It's in the strength of our character, the depth of our compassion, and the resilience of our spirit. These are the qualities that endure, that carry us through the darkest nights and lead us to the most radiant dawns.

So, to anyone standing at the crossroads, torn between chasing an image of success and forging their own path, I say this: Choose the journey that leads to genuine self-discovery and growth. Let go of the need to impress others, their applause is fleeting, and quite frankly no one gives a shit. While I'm not a Dave Ramsey fan, he nailed it with this quote "We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like.".  Focus instead on building a life that resonates with your deepest values and aspirations. It's in this space of authenticity that we find true contentment and joy.

Remember, the most triumphant stories are those of resilience, of individuals who dared to defy the norms and follow their heart. Be the author of your own story, one that inspires not because of the external glitz and glamour, but because of the indomitable spirit that shines from within. Live a life that's rich in experiences, love, and genuine happiness—a life where you're not just existing, but truly living.

Stay Relentless,

Ryan