Rebel Talk: The Art of Defeat

There are moments in life that define us, and yesterday at my son’s basketball tournament was one of them.
From the first whistle, these boys played with everything they had. Hustle, determination, heart—you name it, they left it all on the court. Game after game, they found a way to win, refusing to back down no matter the challenge. And then, they found themselves exactly where every kid dreams of being: the championship game.
With 8.5 seconds left, the score was tied. My son had the ball. He took the shot. He had the confidence, the courage, and the belief to step up in the biggest moment. It barely missed. The ball went out of bounds. 2.5 seconds remained.
The other team inbounded the ball to a player at half-court. It was 4th-grade basketball—there was no real chance of the shot making it past the three-point line. But then, in a gut-wrenching moment, the ref blew the whistle. A foul. A questionable, heart-breaking call. The buzzer had already sounded, yet the other team was awarded three free throws with no time left on the clock.
The first shot went up. It missed. The second one missed. But the third fell through. Just like that, the game was over. Our boys took second place.
That loss stung. It was brutal. It was the kind of moment that makes you question fairness, that makes you want to shake your head in disbelief. It was the kind of moment that’s hard to explain to kids who gave everything they had.
But here’s what I know: life is going to throw bad calls our way. It’s going to give us moments that don’t seem fair. We can’t control those. We can’t control other people, referees, or situations that don’t go our way. What we can control is how we respond.
I am incredibly proud of my son—not just because he played well, but because when the moment came, he wasn’t afraid to take the shot. He put himself in the arena. That confidence, that willingness to step up when the pressure is on, will take him further than any win ever could.
Losing that game might have hurt, but in the long run, these boys won something even greater. They gained experience. They learned how to handle adversity. They felt the highs and lows that come with putting your heart into something that matters. And that—that—is how champions are made.
Because at the end of the day, life isn’t about always getting the perfect shot or the perfect call. It’s about taking the shot anyway. It’s about standing tall when things don’t go your way. It’s about growing through the experience, getting back up, and coming back stronger.
And if you ask me, that’s a win every single time.
So to you reading this, no matter how many bad calls come your way, no matter how many defeats you feel you've had, take the shot, take your shot. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" (Wayne Gretzky)
Stay Relentless,
Ryan
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