Rebel Talk: Benchmark

It’s tough not to compare ourselves. We all do it, whether we want to admit it or not. I know I’ve talked before about my old perfectionist tendencies—how I used to feel like I had to present myself as if I had it all figured out. I’ve overcome that, but I’ll be honest, comparison is something I still struggle with.

In one of my businesses, I work with some incredibly wealthy individuals. I’m not talking about your high-income earners or your well-off upper-class types. I mean people who buy and sell airplanes or thoroughbred horses just for the fun of it. People who make moves with the kind of money that wouldn't just change my life, —it's like it would change economies. And being around that level of success? It got to me.

I’ve always used myself as a benchmark against others my age. I’d look at where I was and measure my progress based on those around me. And for a long time, that served as motivation. But now? Now I see people my age—or younger—who have reached levels of financial success that eclipse mine. And it put me in a funk. Not because I’m ungrateful. Not because I haven’t built something I’m proud of. But because somewhere deep down, I guess I was using that as a measuring stick for my own worth.

Thankfully, I’ve got someone in my corner who helps ground me. My girlfriend has a way of seeing life from a perspective that I sometimes miss. She reminded me of everything I’ve built, everything I’ve overcome, and everything I have to be grateful for. And in that conversation, something clicked—I had been measuring my success by the wrong benchmark.

My real benchmark should be me. Where am I today compared to where I was yesterday? Last year? Five years ago?

And if you’re reading this, feeling the same way—wondering if you’re falling behind, if you’re not where you ‘should’ be—let me tell you something: You’re not alone. It’s normal to feel this way, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the version of you from yesterday.

Here’s what I’ve learned about breaking free from the comparison trap:

1. Acknowledge it – Recognizing that you’re comparing yourself is the first step. You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge.

2. Redefine success – What does success mean to YOU? Not to society, not to your peers, not to the ultra-rich people you see on social media. You.

3. Practice gratitude – Make it a habit to recognize what you’ve achieved. The small wins. The progress you’ve made.

4. Surround yourself with the right people – People who lift you up, who remind you of how far you’ve come, and who see your worth beyond a bank account or a title.

5. Keep moving forward – Don’t let comparison paralyze you. Let it fuel you to be better than you were yesterday.

I won’t pretend this is easy. It’s a battle I still fight. But the shift in perspective—from measuring my worth against others to measuring it against my own progress—has put me on a path to see my life in a different perspective. 

So if you’re feeling stuck, feeling like you’re falling behind, take a breath. Step back. Look at how far you’ve come. And remind yourself that the only benchmark that matters is the one that reflects your own journey.

Keep pushing forward. Keep growing. And most of all—keep your eyes on your own path.

This song is now on my playlist Lucky Man

Stay Relentless,

Ryan